Bliggity Blah....with at least part of a happy ending
So, after the worst experience in my 26 years of exsistence, after the grim reality of the darkness that our world holds in its hot little hands, after being sickened and angered, after a long night plagued with evil dancing ruthlessly through my emotionaly tired mind and not much sleep...
Where do you go? What do you do?
I am functioning in a very cloudy bubble. Dread. The feeling of helplessness. It is vast and unfailing.
My biggest struggle in life is not being able to save the world 'with my own two hands' in a time crunch. Like... right this very minute.
Paralized.
I don't think that I am ever going to be the same person again. In time, this will, God willing, become a positive change. But for now, it is a harsh taste of the underbelly of mankind. Shown to me for what? I haven't figured that out completely yet. Time.
Prayers are a wonderful and powerfull thing.
--Genevieve
PS: I also got fired.
THANK GOD!!!
Where do you go? What do you do?
I am functioning in a very cloudy bubble. Dread. The feeling of helplessness. It is vast and unfailing.
My biggest struggle in life is not being able to save the world 'with my own two hands' in a time crunch. Like... right this very minute.
Paralized.
I don't think that I am ever going to be the same person again. In time, this will, God willing, become a positive change. But for now, it is a harsh taste of the underbelly of mankind. Shown to me for what? I haven't figured that out completely yet. Time.
Prayers are a wonderful and powerfull thing.
--Genevieve
PS: I also got fired.
THANK GOD!!!
posted by Genevieve at 1:55 PM
6 Comments:
senseless. without feeling. that is how it seems. my heart and soul are living in disillusionment.
Wha??!!! You are in my prayers, sister. Much love to you...go to the YOU retreat and have fun for gosh sakes! --Lacey
Love to you. But you know that of course. The underbelly was always there, always was, always will be (at least in our lifetimes). Things like this (or so I've been thinking...) can only serve to throw our Faith into high relief, and force us to see how REAL the changes are that it seeks to make in the world--once and for all. Once and for all. ONCE and FOR ALL. This is so real. The work that you do, although it hasn't wiped away the dross from this big-ole-mirror of a world, has made a huge impact on so many souls. I don't really know that there would be a Youth On Unity without you (that's a compliment, by the way...haha). The service which you so selflessly give to this group is invaluable and has--HAS--changed so many lives. The positive results, sadly, don't shock us in the way that some of the more negative aspects of our world seem to. Like Lacey says, try to enjoy this retreat. Not in the superficial, forget-about-your-problems sense of the word, but in a deeper sense of things. In a Conference of Badasht sort of way, you know? In a "channels for change" sort of way. In a Fire Tablet sort of way. Above all, know that you're loved and we're all here for each other.
-Andrew
Ahh, Gen dear. I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you many hugs (and perhaps even bake you a cake), but being so far, all I can do is give my love.
I'm happy that you'll be working somewhere else, though. :-)
~Sholeh
Hey its shayan, obviously. Sorry about whatever it is that happened to you. I just... never really see you that sad about anything. I just hope it isn't that bad as I'm making it seem :)
Andrew said it sister! Be sure I will be doing some praying for you.
Richard
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